Warning, warning

A battle of epic proportions is possible. It could happen April 4th. Much rioting and carnage would ensue. It's not WWIII. There is a possibility the University of Kentucky (UK) and the University of Louisville (U of L) could play in the NCAA Men's final game. This would result in much trash talking, car tipping, bar fighting, you name it. It could be very exciting, but very scary and I fear for my life. Hopfully UK will keep their hopes alive tonight, but my intuition's saying they'll be out. Stay tuned, sports fans...

Green

I've been thinking about jealousy since Karen ran a poll on her website and one of the questions was "Are you jealous of me?" Well, duh, of course I am, she's a cutie. Not seriously jealous, but a wee bit. Watching TV brought out the old green-eyed monster this morning, though. Where does that term originate anyway? Are people with green eyes jealous of others? Are we supposed to be jealous of people with green eyes? Because my blue eyes are one of the things about my appearance that actually make me happy. Back to who actually made me jealous this morning.

1. Ken Jennings. He's on yet another commercial. There again, I'm not REALLY jealous, but he has turned his Jeopardy! appearances into a whole career. He's got a book deal, at least two national commercials plus all the dough he won. Someone asked me the other day how I would've done against him and I said he would've wiped the floor with me, most days, anyway. You couldn't win continuously when I was on, which is moot anyway, since I lost on my 3rd appearance. If I hadn't, I might be on the current big-ass tournament they're running. I have gotten some minor celebrity from it, and even got a mention last month in my hometown newspaper's editorial section last month, and it's been more than 3 years since I was on the show. I got the full treatment then, radio appearances, colums about me in the local newspaper and alternative paper, and articles and photos in the hometown paper.
2. The chick who stole my last fulltime broadcasting job. OK, she didn't steal it, she didn't hire herself, of course. Apparently my position was available, I just didn't know it until I was axed. This lady gets lots of voiceover work and I heard one of her TV spots in the same break with the Ken commercial. She also sings and got to sing on the CD the station released at Christmas, something I'd thought we could do several years ago, and I wanted to sing. Actually, I'd been thinking more in terms of a concert, but same thing. Sometimes it just feels like "anything I can do, she can do better." Not true, but it feels that way.

I 'm also somewhat jealous of anyone who figures out a way to work from home and make a decent living that way. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

My Syndrome of the Week

ABH, as in Anywhere But Here. Midlife crisis, you say? Possibly. Mild depression? Could be. Stupidity? Most assuredly. I'm itching to go somewhere. I've lived within 120 miles of here all my life. I was born about 30 miles away, went to a state university, and my first job was about 45 miles on the other side of my hometown. I had the opportunity to move one state away, to Ohio, 13 years ago, but I gave it up for a slight promotion and pay raise where I was. I'd have made a lot more if I moved, but I told myself, "money isn't everything." Plus, if I'd moved, I may not have met G. I told G a couple of weeks ago that I'd like to move to California and he just said, "why?" I dunno. And it's not California, necessarily, I really just pulled that one out of a hat. I do feel very restless, which may be attributable to my next syndrome...

CBH: Can't Be Happy. 2 months ago I was telling myself there was no downside to this job. Wrong! I do not like it, Sam I Am. I don't want to be unhappy, though. I don't want to whine about another job because I know no one wants to hear it, least of all me. It's Karma, I'm sure. My mother has a good friend, a wonderful woman. Growing up in my sheltered, smalltown world, she was the most bohemian person I knew. I love her, but used to look down on her a bit because I thought she flitted from job to job--"I think I'll try this this week." Little did I know my resume would wind up looking like a menu at TGI Friday's (the old, book-style ones).

Getting past it

Something very nifty happened yesterday. I stopped being jealous of people doing IVF, or anything ART-related. I 've never seethed with anger over hearing about people being successful, but felt very wistful and thought, "if I could just try again..." I think it was getting an issue of Infertility Times in the mail yesterday. I don't know why, but something about the ads just PISSED ME OFF! Nothing concrete, nothing I can spill out to you, but yesterday put the finishing touches on everything for me. One of my friends is just starting the process and feeling nervous, and I can just be happy and hopeful for her, because I'm done. This is not to say that if I won Powerball on Saturday I wouldn't try it again. I would. Probably a couple more times, if money were no object. I'm also not going to say I'm not hoping that it'll just happen, because I am, and it could. I'm letting go of it a little all the time, though, and I do feel I've turned a corner. And it's good.

Guilt Raffle

In the Assisted Living center at my workplace, there's a sign posted. Walking up to it the other day, I thought it said "Guilt Raffle." It, of course, actually said "Quilt Raffle." It got me thinking, though. Is there anyone's guilt you'd buy a ticket for? I mean, I wonder if Bill Gates ever feels any guilt over having all that money. I'd be willing to assume a little of that guilt, along with some of the money, of course. I don't feel a lot of guilt generally. For a good while, I had a secret shame in that I hadn't actually graduated from college, but I let people think I had. For the record, I only lacked a couple of hours, which I finally completed, and since 2003 I have been the official possessor of a diploma that says I am a B.A. For the past couple of weeks, I have borne the guilt over an incident that I'm not even ready to blog about because it was BAD. The initial act wasn't my fault, but the follow-up or lack thereof was my fault. I'd love to raffle that one. I'd give the money to a worthwhile cause. Really, I would.

A Toe in the Water

I've registered on the Adoption.com forums and have questions out to some members. I've downloaded an application from the agency we may use. Wow!!

Look, It's an Actual Title!

Blogger's actually making this easier. I probably could've done this for awhile, but was just too damned lazy to figure it out.

On...

Working for a Non-Profit

The new computers seem nice, but cheap. The Financial Director decided to go with a wireless network, instead of getting each office wired for our connection. It was a practical decision, as our offices may be moving again in the next couple of years, and not installing all the wiring will leave the patio home intact. The move, however, is in question as my boss and the PH coordinator would prefer to stay here, and this home is the least likely to be reserved, for several reasons. Still, it would be nice if they'd ponied up the dough, and maybe we wouldn't have the connection and memory problems we seem to be having, which certainly do not add to the joys of...

Being an Assistant

Hearing your name spoken is supposed to be a pleasant experience, but the "Tracy" echoing down the hall several times a day does not fill my heart with thanksgiving. I'm not a computer expert--far from it, my friends. But every time there's a problem, I'm supposed to fix it, or at least listen to her complain about it. I actually did fix a problem Tuesday, quite by accident. When A (my boss) tried to connect to our shared drive, she got an error indicating she wasn't connected. The icon representing our wireless network said that not only was she connected, it was an EXCELLENT connection. Going through My Computer, I right-clicked on the drive icon, after many other blind stabs at a fix. I clicked on Disconnect, thinking when I tried clicking on it again I'd get an option to Reconnect. Uh, no. The entire icon disappeared, apparently upset that I'd questioned it's stability. I then tried the same thing with our Shared Apps. It disappeared, too. I didn't really panic, because I knew I could get them back, but I also knew that would cause more boss whining. I went to the desktop and clicked on the Shared Drive icon there. It opened up. I don't know why. Yesterday, she was having problems with Outlook. "Tracy..." It turned out she didn't need Outlook, she just needed to get on the Internet, and didn't remember to click on the Explorer icon.

I wrote and sent out a press release yesterday, going against some of my own feelings about how to format and word a release. It's just easier than trying to talk her out of her own way. I used one of her old releases as a template, and made some minor changes, but she didn't seem to have any problem with those, and did say it was good. Having been on the receiving end of such releases I know what I like to see, and what I think is professional. She likes to indent, which is personal letter style, not professional. She has other preferences, such as a specific font I don't like, and using lots of bold characters and "quotation" marks. She is a CMP, and I'm not, but I've done radio news. That's not to say that I'm a journalist by any means, but I do have an idea of what's usable. It's not a fight I'm prepared for yet, but maybe gradually I can make some changes. She is the boss, and I'm fine with that. I'm just not sure how long I will be.