Can't Stop

I attended a meeting about the health insurance coverage at WM a couple of weeks ago. There were pages of the covered prescription drugs in the booklet and I couldn't help myself. Guiltily, I scanned down to check for fertility drugs, and lo and behold, Gonal-F was tucked in there, right in the middle of the Gs. So of course, I began thinking, "Could it be? Fertility treatments covered by my employer?" Knowing the answer, I asked anyway. No, they're not. Only a small sigh this time.

ETC.

Last week, despite hitting 40, was super. On Valentine's Day, I received the requisite dozen red roses, Sealab 2021 Season Two and Brak Show DVDs, and a home-grilled steak dinner. I bought G a membership in a beer club at our favorite liquor behemoth. Every month he will get to pick up a specially-chosen 6-pack or its equivalent, plus he gets a t-shirt and 10% off any case he chooses. On Tuesday, my boss and other co-worker took me to lunch, and my former boss Vicki, along with Jan, went with us. Jan had an office at my former company, and while she wasn't a fulltime employee, did a lot of video editing work for us. She also is responsible for getting me the freelance job that helped G and me get through 2004. From these sweet ladies I received a bottle of Estee Lauder Pleasures, a potted tulip, books (The Eyre Affair and a trivia book), and a cute little birthday monkey. Later in the afternoon I was looking at some of our unoccupied patio homes with the homes coordinator (who is the aforementioned co-worker), and when we returned to our offices, my parents were there to surprise me with a lovely outfit and America (The Book). I love the stereo G. got me, and we had a lovely gut-stuffing Italian dinner. No horrible surprises or even any mean cards. And it isn't THAT different from 39. But it is different.

By the way, we have a temporary health insurance policy to tide us over until April when we'll get on the group policy here. I really need a checkup but am hesitant to do anything until at least April, for fear of red tape if I have any ongoing problems. I think any problems I have are caused by awful, ugly hormones , which have been the bane of my existence since I was in high school and started sprouting way too much hair on my chin and in other areas. I'm starting to have this fear of being an old woman in a nursing home (PC term at my organization is Health Care Center), having a full beard and being bald, and no one knowing or caring, and having them think I'm an old man.

Got job?

And so, I have rejoined the world of the fully employed. After Christmas, I got a call from the wife of one of my former bosses (at my last full-time job). She was looking for a Development Assistant at the retirement community where she works. I started here 4 weeks ago. WM is affiliated with, but not run or fully supported by, the denomination I've been a part of all my life (UMC). My grandmother (who was Baptist) lived here for a few months before she died in 1995, so I have many connections to the job. Our offices are in one of the patio homes, and I have my own lovely office with a window. The job's only about 12 miles from home, and I'm going against the bulk of the traffic mornings and afternoons. It all seems perfect and yet... Oh, I'm so thankful to be somewhere so nice where I might actually make a difference in people's lives, and I want to keep an open mind and hope it'll last forever, but I have a feeling I'll be restless within a year or so. My boss is a very nice person, but conservative and resistant to technology, i.e. computers, internet, etc. We just got new computers a week and half ago, and she's griping about XP (her old OS was Windows 98--mine was 95, so I'm thrilled with the new stuff). I tell her it'll just take some getting used to. We'll see.

I'm not making the kind of salary I was hoping to get, but it's the best salary I've gotten thus far. When I was fulltime in radio I made a little less, but I got quite a few remotes, which make up for not getting a topnotch salary. I'm still doing my TV announcing and my weekend radio stuff, so that money will help. I'm going to start actively pursuing more voice work in the next month or so, too. My plan is to pay off my car early, and then work on the other debts. I think it's time to go on and fill out the adoption applications. I'm terrified of more debt, but Mom and Dad will help with the money. I'm not sure they realize how expensive it all is. I'm thinking we might lean toward adopting from Guatemala, but we've still not hashed it all out. It's almost bad making some money now, because while most of me wants to save as much as possible, the other, smaller part is screaming loudly for stuff, stuff, stuff!!! I've got a trial subscription to XM at work because of the Dell computers, and now I'm lusting to have it all of the time. G got me a nice office stereo for my birthday and it does have an aux jack, so I could listen to it here. He asked if I wanted a car stereo, and I said no, but I do. There are so many things I want. A garage. A dining room set. New stuff for our house. New clothes. New everything. But I want family more. I think part of the draw of the other stuff is I could get it now. But I'd be paying for it later. Money makes the world go round and round and round til I'm just dizzy.

A haiku

How'd I get this old?

Does life really begin here?

Dear Lord, I'm forty.