We have ferning! Of course, we also have EWCM, so I probably didn't need the Ovulation Predictor. And I'm not really in the mood. Too bad, I guess, will press on anyway!

I'd forgotten to mention that I was down a few more pounds when I weighed in last Saturday, I'm now 8 pounds lighter than when I started. My family and G's family both commented and thought I look like I've lost more than 8 pounds. If my scale is right, I wasn't at my top weight when I started, so have probably lost over 15 pounds since earlier this year. I have 17 to go from what I weighed last Saturday. I do feel better, and less jiggly.

Must share... I was doing an Amazon search for gifts for 3-4 year olds and focused on books. This came up on the list. Must be very mature 3 & 4 year olds. I wonder if there's a companion pop-up book of The Joy of Sex (suitable for ages 5-7)?

Had to laugh (painfully) at Chezmiscarriage's holiday headaches. For the past several years I usually get "call my sister" from G. That is, call his sister to let her know when we'll be at her house. In other words, everything revolves around what I decide. That's the only time this is really true, when there are hurt feelings enough for 2 families. Most years since G. stopped having to work on Thanksgiving, we have 2 dinners, the first with my family and the second with his. Actually, there was one year when we just ate with his family. I didn't mind, except no one acknowledged it, they just accepted it as fine. And there's never any discussion about not spending a holiday with his family. I've never understood why we have to go to their house at Easter. Easter is not a secular holiday. They don't go to church. G's nephew is now too old for the Easter bunny. I can understand the secularization of Christmas, but not Easter. Enough, I'm not going into that right now, it's Thanksgiving. I know the best solution would be having Thanksgiving at our house. I used to say every year that we'd have it at our house, hence only 1 dinner! I've decided that cooking most of it myself would be easier than hauling stuff around (although his sister never seems to really want me to bring anything) and having to have 2 holidays in one day. However, we don't have can't see my old dining room table, which is covered with G's business stuff, can only hold 6 anyway, and that's a tight squeeze. I planned to buy a dining room set, and was nearly ready to do it a couple of years ago, but G always acts like our eating area is too small. It is large enough, however, to hold our small table, his gun safe, his plants, many of his tools, an old sewing maching we keep for decoration that he's pushed up to the window so the cats will have a window seat, and other sundry items of his. OK, when we win the lottery tonight, I'm buying a dining room set, whether he likes it or not. Thanksgiving will be fine. I must not take second helpings of anything, though. Now moving on to...

Apparently there's a science to spitting just right. I threw more money at the problem and bought my Ovulation Scope last night. I'm not a patient woman so I opened it in the car and drooled on it right away. However, you're supposed to wait for it to dry for 10 minutes. You're also not supposed to have have eaten or drunk anything for 2 hours before using it. So I spit again this morning, but apparently too much, because the stupid thing wasn't dry in 10 minutes. I bought it because I thought it'd be easier than taking temps every morning (the packaging trumpets, "no complicated charting"). Uh-huh.

A lady on one of my old IVF boards posted to my question that Dillards no longer has IF coverage, but that their coverage changes almost yearly, so it could come back. I may try working there for awhile anyway, although I dread spending that much time on my feet! Dr. Scholls pads anyone?

Trying to feed this IVF addiction...I've got the list of employers who possibly have IVF coverage. Dillards, Talbots and Casual Corner are all on it. I don't know if they actually have coverage or not, but am willing to get a job offer to find out. I applied at Dillards yesterday and am going in tonight to watch videos about working there, in anticipation of them putting me on a holiday schedule. The HR lady I spoke with said that was the best (and I assume only) way to get a fulltime job. Some extra $$ would be nice, anyway, as would a discount if they offer it. Talbots has a 40% discount according to their website, but I don't have nice enough clothes to even interview there, and my fashion sense will never have any recruiters beating down my door. Worth a shot, I guess.

It was a pretty neat night last night. I scripted, voiced and produced a video for a Governor's (yes, our state governor) leadership awards dinner last night. Our Creative Director was there, and was very impressed. He said he doesn't think the people in our other office know all that I can do. I felt very patted on the back. This morning I got an email from the company Director of Administration that they're canceling our office's newspaper subscription. It costs $10 a month. I think the Creative Director wants this office open, but it doesn't look like anyone else does.

So, I'm wondering, did these people leave their child alone with Michael Jackson? If so, they should be neutered. Not to judge someone who hasn't been proven guilty, but sheesh, people, a little common sense?

Latest on the job hunt. A couple of days ago while researching the competition, I found an agency that I thought sounded interesting to me personally. I've about convinced myself that I should be trying a different tack and not just agency-hopping, but I decided to drop this company a resume. The woman I emailed replied that they had some jobs that might be below my qualifications and didn't pay that much, but they could very well work into something else. What she didn't realize was that the salary range she mentioned is more than I'm making now, especially the top number. It may not be the best idea professionally, but I usually include my church on my resume, because of the committees and worship team I serve on. The lady who replied is of my same denomination, she's also got a copywriting background, and we graduated from the same college. Weird! I've asked a couple of people if they know anything about this company, but they don't know them. I know the company has some interesting new clients from reading our local business journal. If I could just get an interview somewhere I think it would help my outlook some.

According to a website, I have moderate adult ADHD--of course, I'm sure they'd just like to sell me some drugs, so I'm a bit skeptical. I think I might though...hey, I saw a good movie last night. Love Actually is very cute--got to love Colin Firth! I have no money for Christmas presents, need to make stuff...Ooo, I emailed an agency about work and they have some openings...I've got to get my videotape together for the cable company...I want to write a Christmas song for church soon...what was I talking about? Oh yeah, ADHD. Naah, I don't have that.

I feel like such a whore. No, not that way, just in selling my services to whomever. One of my radio buddies used to say we were whores, as far as the remotes and commercials we did, we might be at one car dealer one Saturday and another the next. I never really felt bad about it, because I never worked at a company I was against morally, ideologically or really in any other way. There have been commercials I opted not to record, such as ones for paycheck advance companies ( I think they're not much better than loan sharks), and there was a flag commercial I requested to not read during the Gulf War, because I thought it was jingoistic. I'm proud of being an American, but I would not have been proud to read that spot.

Tonight I attended a political fundraiser for a candidate that I could not vote for (I live in the wrong state), and probably would not vote for (wrong party). The candidate is a client of my company, and I'm more than likely going to be going to a lot more of these things. I'm not a straight-ticket voter, and really just vote my conscience, but my conscience is giving me grief about this. I hope the folks at this gathering could not see me rolling my eyes after some of their remarks. I can act a little, but I'm not sure I can pull this off. I wish they'd just fire me. Something has GOT to turn up for me soon.

(warning, TMI coming) I think my hormones are really screwy. I don't know if it's lingering effects of the fertility drugs from July, if it's from the lap, or just that I'm getting older. My sex drive has been way down for a couple of months, and I've been spotting for a day and a half, which isn't really normal for me. I think I'm getting ready to start full on now, though.

I've been thinking of buying one of these Ovulation Scopes. It's just a little microscope to pick up the ferning pattern of saliva. I know basically when I'm ovulating, but my EWCM seems to last a few days past when the time should've passed, which is a little confusing. I know I could take my temp. every morning, but spitting on a glass seems a bit easier, and I wouldn't have to do it every day. It's probably pointless anyway, but at least I'll still feel like I'm doing something, and it's not impossible.

I'm getting more hits on my resumes on job websites. It's probably because I scaled down my desired salary a little. Things may turn out to be fun here. B, who's our Creative Director, is spending time down here and says we can make this office anything we want it to be. Could be interesting.

A former employee (and current associate) of our company had suggestions for me that echoed something G suggested and has done. Linda said I should create a job for myself, and go in and sell it, offering to work for free for a couple of weeks to prove myself. G made an offer like that to someone years ago as he did not have the experience required, but he did have skills and learned fast. He got paid, of course. I'm just not sure I'm that brave. Plus, one of my major downfalls is that I'm lazy! Left to my own devices, I get little done, partially because I'm easily distracted. I need focus. I'm not sure I could ever work from home. I'd have to give myself major deadlines. I work pretty well under pressure.

Have you ever known anyone who was not excited about a delivery from a florist? When I got home last night there was a card indicating that a florist had left something next door. I did NOT want to go get it. I'm not phobic about flowers or plants, and I don't have severe allergies to plants that I know of (I have seasonal allergies to grass). I do not like my neighbor. I would not like her in a house, I would not like her with a mouse. G and I live in the house that belonged to my grandparents for over 30 years. My grandmother died on Thanksgiving Day in 1995, and G and I got engaged at midnight of the New Year in '96. We bought the house from my mom and aunt. Our neighbor, E, did not like and was not very nice to my grandmother, who was a wonderful, generous, thoughtful, albeit bossy and talkative woman. When I told E we were buying the house she thought maybe G and I could take her to the store, mow her lawn, etc. She seemed to have forgotten that a few days after my grandfather died, she came to my grandmother and told her not to expect E and her husband (who died soon after that) to be doing much for her. They did pick up groceries every once in awhile, but they didn't offer to take my grandmother with them, and she wanted to get her own things. Anyway, I decided I would be nice and try to get past the past, and then G found that E had said mean things about us and told neighbors that our house was given to us, a total lie, and I have all the mortgage papers to prove it! Bizarre. Anyway, I put off going over there, but she was nice when she came to the door, so I'm going to be nice, too. I'm going to send her a Christmas card. If I can make myself, I may bring her something, or offer to do something for her. I will be a grown-up someday!

Aunt Flo has come. Again.

I only lost 2 pounds the second week of my diet, but am fine with that, because 2 pounds a week is a healthy weight loss, and easier to keep off. I'm now making the diet fit me instead of my fitting it. I can now have whole wheat pastas, although they're supposed to be eaten sparingly, but I had some last night and threw some leftover asparagus, fresh tomato, a can of tuna and some mozzarella on it. It was quite good and I can have the rest for lunch tomorrow if G hasn't filched it by the time I get home (he was gone to the farm last night).

One less bell to answer... P has left the office. He's gone to work with the mayor. He was sometimes a little annoying to work with (picky, asking me to do things he could have easily done, etc.), but is nice and I'll miss him. V's last day is Friday. This is sad. Corporate is not planning to sell our biggest account, but it's with the state, and as there's a new administration the whole contract could potentially go away at any time. I'm still hanging in there...

My posts are still there--I think I can figure out how to make them show up on the blog again, although I followed the blogger instructions, and it didn't work yet. I'll keep trying...

I wonder what happened to most of my archives from August. Many are sad--dealing with my negative HPT and beta test, but I want them back anyway.

As of Saturday, I'd lost 4 pounds (after 6 days on South Beach). After these first 2 weeks, which will end on Saturday, it really does seem to be a healthy lifestyle diet. There's no fruit for the first 2 weeks, which seems a bit odd, but it's supposed to reset your body somehow. The dr. doesn't seem to realize that tomatoes are fruit, because tomatoes are allowed. Regardless, the diet emphasizes healthy fats and healthy carbs. Whole wheat breads, healthy cereals, sweet potatoes and some other foods can come back next week, too. G and I really eat healthy foods--we like all kinds of veggies, and we eat a lot of chicken and fish, but we eat red meat too. I think portion size is our main downfall. That and a lack of aerobic exercise. I'm not fat, but am too big, and am hoping to lose about 25 pounds altogether. G needs to lose more than that. He's not doing the diet, but will probably benefit from me doing it, since he's eating the same dinners, although he has a potato every now and then. I'm really hoping to get back into the size 10 I was before we got married. I wear a 12 now, 14 in some things. It's not an unreasonable goal, and I certainly felt better when I was a 10. It felt good for me, and I never had the desire to be any smaller than that.

Thanks for your comment, Melanie! I fixed my links and they're all lined up neatly now.

I've decided to ask for a raise, even though I'm still trying to get out of here. I've been hesitant to ask for one, despite working here for 2 years, because I don't work on billable clients as much as everyone else, plus I don't enjoy secretarial work, and didn't necessarily want a raise for that--I've been going on the assumption that I'd be promoted and automatically make more money. I was all ready to ask for a raise this summer, once we got the video division going, and then that went away, and so did the raise talk. Apparently, my position's going to change now, whether that's been their plan for me or not. My thought when we were doing video was that I'd wait awhile and then ask for a raise, thinking it'd be bigger after I'd done a great job. I don't have the time to wait now. Our house payments are going up because our mortgage company did a poor job of estimating the escrow (at least that's my take on it). Our car insurance went up because I hit G's truck with my car earlier this year. I was too tired to be driving, but I hadn't had a drop of alcohol that evening. It didn't hurt his truck, but it made my car, which was only a little over a year old, look pretty ugly. Plus, we've got to pay bills so we can start on an adoption!! I need a raise!

My short-timer ex-boss got the most hilarious catalogue in the mail from these people today. Very funny and sarcastic. It's like a poster I used to have in my office (the only office I ever had) that was entitled "Life's Little Destructions", which was a satire of the Little Instructions books. Have a laugh!

There's apparently a ghost in my blog. There's a bullet in my links with no website, and there's no reason for it to be there. I've not had to separate the blogs so they won't fight. The bullet won't go away. Hmmmm....

Yay! I got my voiceovers done last night, with the help of just a couple of passages of the book G got me for our anniversary (he got me 2--one for setting up a home studio, and one for the recording software I installed). It's still hard to make a reallygood recording, because my equipment is not exactly top-notch, although my microphone is pretty nice. Our computer room is not very sound-proof either. G wants to work on our big room upstairs, and is talking about walling off one corner for a studio for me--that way, we could insulate it. I don't know if it'll be worth the trouble, but it just might be.

Babybaby's baby is due any time. Here's hoping for a easy, healthy delivery for her and her family!

After several months, I got my microphone set up in our computer room last night. I'd tried to set it up on its stand several times, but it would fall, and I thought I had a defective clip. Last night I realized I was installing it upside down. You'd think someone with 17+ years in radio and voiceovers would be able to do that right the first time, heehee. Some days I feel just a tiny bit like Homer Simpson--to quote him, "Lord help me, I'm just not that bright." I had to get that accomplished because I'm going to do a voiceover for a video for the retirement home where my former boss's wife works. It's not a paid thing, but the retirement home is affiliated with my denomination and my grandmother (who wasn't the same denomination) lived there for a few months before she died. I will request a form confirming my in-kind donation, but am glad to do the work.