I guess I'll pull all the adoption literature back out and start reading up. It'll be awhile before we can get anything in motion--we've got to get some of this debt paid off. I know my Mom and Dad will be glad to help, but I'm so independent, I hate to ask anyone for help. Besides, how fair would it be to bring a child into our lives and say, well, you can't go to college, you can't have any clothes, or any toys, or probably much in the way of food, but you're here, by golly! Actually, DH floated an idea the other day, one that especially came up when we considered the possibility of twins. He said we'd have to move if we had kids, and I definitely agree. I don't think our neighborhood is the greatest for kids, and we don't live near good schools. Plus, daycare would've been difficult with our money situation. He said something about selling our house and living in the house on his farm. We'd have to make a lot of improvements there, there's not even any hot water, but it's something to think about. I'd never thought about being a SAHM, I never considered that it would be an option for me. My mom was, well she actually taught one year after I was born, but couldn't stand picking me up at the sitter and hearing all about what I'd done during the day, so she quit. That was the 60s, of course, so it was more the norm anyway. My sister hasn't worked since my niece was born 3 1/2 years ago, either. Of course her husband has a fabulous job, so they can afford it. We could too, if we could learn to stick to a budget. It would make certain things possible, like adopting an older or special needs child. I've not wanted to look into older children, mainly because I didn't want to immediately dump them into child care. That doesn't seem fair. But if we could work out a way for me to be home, it would definitely be a possibility.

I'm adding some other blogs to my list, from moms who've adopted. I've dropped in on their blogs before, and I'm pretty sure they're going to be much more pertinent to me. They're wonderful, at any rate.

I've known for 8 years that I might never have a baby. It seems more final now, though.