I do feel some better this evening and am feeling determined. I spoke to V and she said the guy at Public Broadcasting hadn't received my resume. I think they're really just looking for an Admin. Asst. though, and I don't want to take a job like that again hoping they'll see my grand potential, and promote me within weeks. I need more. I need more challenge, more money, and a way to be more me. I emailed him and the HR person, but am willing to hold out for something better, at least at this point.

I often feel that sometime in the next few years G and I will get pregnant on our own, but I'm not counting on it. I'm just so tired of having to be patient for everything. I really do feel that 2004 will be a better year for so many of us. So many of my close friends have had a rotten year. My college roommate had a miscarriage and lost her father. A friend I've had since I was 2 (we started trick or treating together then) is going through an ugly separation from his wife and is devastated and very worried about his 3 year old daughter. A friend of his and mine broke up with his boyfriend of several years. My second cousin who was my pal when I was working my first couple of fulltime jobs in the late 80s is separated from her husband. It goes on and on. Which makes me realize there's not time to feel sorry for myself. Things could be better. But they could be much, much worse.