What level of hell is sitting in the unemployment office for 2 and a half hours? Instead of a check yesterday, I got a green sheet, which did not bode well. Even though I've been collecting for over 6 months, I've only received about half of my benefit money because of my freelance/PT work. I'd gone to donate blood yesterday, because of a promised Kings Island ticket. Lo and behold, they were out of the tickets by the time I arrived, but I gave anyway. I would donate more often, but my veins are small and hard to find, making the whole process pretty difficult sometimes. It went OK yesterday, and I'm supposed to get a ticket for Frightfest at Kings Island in October, so that was all right, but the green sheet in the mail was not. I fretted and worried all night. At the unemp. office this morning I was assigned number 723. They were on 714. Many, many people came and went while I waited. Admittedly, I'm often one of the people who gets to come in and leave quickly. Not today. Hoo boy. And I didn't bring a book. I jotted notes to myself of things to do in the next couple of days. I looked at a TV screen silently playing "The Shadow" starring Alec Baldwin. Mostly I thought, "why me? Why can't I get a job? What are we going to do if they've cut me off? I can't make the car payment. Do I wait tables? Work retail? What? I apply for job after job. I'm either overqualified or underqualified. Or maybe they've hired their sister-in-law." And on and on like that, for 2 hours. I looked at beautiful babies and toddlers. A gorgeous little girl of 3 or 4 with dark chocolate eyes and 2-foot-long eyelashes. A darling baby with wispy blonde hair and whose mother I wanted to shake a little bit for having pierced the baby's ears. I thought some more "why me"'s. "If I had a job and we had a little money we could start on the adoption process. Or if I had a job with good insurance coverage, I could torture myself through another IVF. Why me?" I finally got called back. The counselor said I had a disqualifying answer, but when she printed out my last claim call, she couldn't find anything wrong. Neither could another person she showed it to. They OK'd my payment and I should get it Saturday or Monday. It helps. It's not enough. Why me?